Dads of Daughters May Be More Attentive Partners

Researchers at the Rutgers Business School find that fathers of girls demonstrate higher levels of commitment and intimacy toward the mother

Children can be hard on a relationship, but some kids can bring parents closer together. 

Research from Rutgers University has found that often, it is girls who inspire closer parental bonds.

In a study published online ahead of print in the November issue of the journal Personality and Individual Differences, scholars at Rutgers Business School’s Center for Women in Business report that fathers of daughters show higher levels of attachment, commitment, trust and intimacy toward the child’s mother than fathers of sons.

“Having a daughter appears to be protective of the primary parent relationship,” said Kristina Durante, professor and research fellow at the Center for Women in Business and a coauthor of the study. “When men have daughters, it alters their psychologies in interesting ways, including, as we found, higher levels of commitment to the mother.”

When men have daughters, it alters their psychologies in interesting ways, including, as we found, higher levels of commitment to the mother.

Kristina Durante

Professor and Research Fellow, Center for Women in Business

Fathers play an important role in the development of girls’ self-esteem. Past research shows that fathers also shape their daughter’s broader expectations about men’s reliability and availability in long-term relationships.

Drawing on this knowledge, the Rutgers team wondered whether having a daughter increases men’s tendency to favor long-term commitments, signaling to daughters that male investment is reliable.

To test their theory, the scholars conducted three surveys of nearly 1,700 parents throughout the U.S. 

In the first survey, they asked fathers of daughters under the age of 18 about the quality of their relationship with the child’s mother. 

In the second survey, the researchers reversed the script, asking mothers of daughters about their perception of the fathers’ behaviors.

The third survey was designed to rule out pre-existing views about relationships and gender. Soon-to-be parents were recruited during the last trimester of pregnancy, and questions were phrased to determine whether differences in fathers’ behaviors were present before birth or if they emerged after they became fathers.

The results were striking.

“Fathers of daughters are not necessarily better dads, but they are perceived, both individually and by the child’s mother, as better at being there for their partner,” said Krystal Duarte, a postdoctoral research associate at the Center for Women in Business and lead author of the study. 

Why this might be true is unclear, but Duarte and Durante have several theories. 

For one, the effect may come down to what fathers are teaching, even unintentionally. “Fathers are often a daughter's first close look at what to expect from a man in a relationship,” said Duarte. “If a father is showing up for the child's mother, being attentive, supportive, committed, that becomes the daughter’s working model for what a good partner looks like. We think dads may be, in effect, coaching their daughters on what to expect and what not to settle for, just by how they treat mom."

If a father is showing up for the child's mother, being attentive, supportive, committed, that becomes the daughter’s working model for what a good partner looks like.

Krystal Duarte

Postdoctoral Research Associate, Center for Women in Business

That's not the only possible explanation. Duarte and Durante note that fatherhood is known to be associated with testosterone declines, which may trigger endocrine shifts that facilitate caregiving and pair-bonding motivation, they said. But this would be true for fathers of sons as well as daughters.

Daughters also may evoke cultural norms surrounding protection, alter perceived family vulnerability or shift relational expectations within couples, they added.

But the prevailing explanation may lie less in what fathers need and more in what daughters stand to gain. 

“Relationships are enormously beneficial to men, but historically they've been especially critical for women,” said Durante. “A father who's actively working at his own partnership is showing his daughter that this kind of investment from a man is possible, and worth expecting.”

Explore more of the ways Rutgers research is shaping the future.