A Hit and Run Put the Spotlight on Teen Dating Violence. Here’s How Schools Can Help.

A double homicide in New Jersey should serve as a wakeup call for school administrators to address an emerging crisis, says a Rutgers researcher

When two 17-year-old girls were intentionally killed by a male acquaintance in Cranford, N.J., in late September, most residents responded with shock.

Sarah McMahon, an expert in violence prevention at the Rutgers School of Social Work, saw something else: a reminder of an all-too-familiar pattern that is traumatizing many American teenagers. 

“As a resident of Cranford and someone who's raised kids in this town, it’s extremely painful to know this happened and that the alleged perpetrator was accused of engaging in stalking behavior before his actions,” McMahon said. “Sadly, it’s something we’ve seen for some time and solutions are urgently needed.”

Teen dating violence is a national emergency. In a 2021 U.S. government survey among high school students who reported dating in the past 12 months, about 1 in 12 experienced physical dating violence and roughly one in 10 experienced sexual dating violence. The actual figures are likely even higher, McMahon notes. 

It is especially important for schools to offer education about dating violence, not only for students, but for teachers, staff and parents – to help recognize the signs.

Sarah McMahon

Director, Rutgers Center for Research on Ending Violence

To assess staff and student perceptions of teen dating violence in schools, McMahon, who is the director of the Rutgers Center for Research on Ending Violence, and Avanti Adhia, an assistant professor at the University of Washington in Seattle, co-published a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health. Led by Adhia and her team at the University of Washington, the researchers examined strategies for prevention in schools. 

MacMahon and Adhia discuss what school administrators, students and parents must do to protect teenagers in their relationships.

What is “teen dating violence”?

McMahon: Domestic violence has traditionally been defined as something that occurs only between people who are in married relationships. 

But research shows abusive behaviors aren’t restricted to married couples. They’re also prevalent in dating relationships, and increasingly among teens. Even middle school students can experience various forms of abuse in their dating relationships – including physical, psychological, sexual, financial, stalking and online harassment. 

These behaviors manifest differently in teens than in adults but are still about power and control within a relationship.

In the paper you co-authored about teen dating violence in schools, you discussed barriers to implementing solutions. What are some of those barriers?

McMahon: There are several. First, it's an uncomfortable topic for many young people, families and teachers. 

Consider our study. We recruited for 18 months and we still had a small sample size – 22 students and 14 staff members. We reached out to so many different school districts in many states and received different responses about why they couldn’t participate. So, there’s some anxiety with the topic and pushback from some school districts and families who don’t think this is something that should be discussed in schools.

Second, there’s legal ambiguity and anxiety around who’s responsible when violent behaviors occur in a dating relationship. Abuse doesn’t just happen in the school setting. It happens outside of the school, too, and when it does, determining responsibility can be complicated. 

To effectively address these issues, however, we really need all parties to be involved in addressing this issue – schools, parents, religious and community leaders, and teens themselves. 

How can teachers, peers and parents recognize when a teen is in an abusive relationship? What can they do to help?

Almost every time there’s a dating or domestic violence related homicide – not just for teens but including teens – stalking behavior happens before.

Sarah McMahon

McMahon: There are several signs of abuse and controlling behavior occurring in relationships, even though these can sometimes be subtle, especially when technology is used. This is why it is especially important for schools to offer education about dating violence, not only for students, but for teachers, staff and parents – to help recognize the signs, raise awareness and provide options for those who are experiencing the behavior or have concerns about what they observe among others.  

One important issue the Cranford tragedy highlights is the role of stalking. Almost every time there’s a dating or domestic violence related homicide – not just for teens but including teens – stalking behavior happens before. Not every stalking case leads to homicide, but almost every dating or domestic violence homicide, in which the victim had or has a romantic relationship with the perpetrator, was preceded by stalking. 

This is one topic that I hope receives increased attention in our prevention efforts in schools and elsewhere – to help individuals recognize the signs, identify the seriousness of the behavior and connect with resources.

In addition, bystanders – friends, peers and teachers – have an important role in intervening when they observe abusive or controlling behaviors. One of the things that makes teen dating violence difficult to address is that often, the victim is in the same social circle as the abuser. It can make it complicated for victims, especially teens, come forward about someone acting abusively who is in their friend group or school. 

This emphasizes the role that peers, teachers, parents and other community members who notice the behavior can have. They can intervene or ask for help when they see something happening to a friend. However, figuring out how to intervene safely and effectively can be challenging, so that is why having training and education in school settings is essential, and it is required in our state.

Adhia: Recognizing abusive behavior can be challenging, even for someone experiencing it. We heard from many teens in our study that they often don’t know what is considered unhealthy or abusive. And, because they don’t always tell adults about their relationships out of privacy concerns or shame, school staff and parents also may not realize what is going on. 

It is on everyone to be observant about behavior or mood changes and to create safe spaces to listen and offer nonjudgmental support.

Bystanders – friends, peers and teachers – have an important role in intervening when they observe abusive or controlling behaviors.

Sarah McMahon

As you wrote in your paper, 38 states have laws requiring schools to address teen dating violence in their curriculum. But clearly, laws aren’t translating into action. Why not? 

Adhia: It is incredibly challenging to translate the laws we have on paper into practice. There are so many barriers. In addition to teen dating violence being less visible in schools and sometimes an uncomfortable topic to discuss, schools are overburdened. There is such lack of time within school days and curriculum to fit in all the important issues students need to learn. 

Also, a lot of the laws don’t come with funding to actually implement them. Sometimes there is no one responsible for carrying out the laws, and often there is no oversight or accountability to make sure schools are complying with the laws. 

Are there sufficient federal resources to tackle this problem? 

McMahon: There’s been a reduction in the availability of federal grants focused on these areas. Our ability to access the science is also being affected. 

Moreover, as we found in our study, staff in schools are often uncomfortable providing the education themselves, so they partner with community agencies that are skilled in providing this education. Unfortunately, even those agencies are facing severe cuts. 

Add to this the attack on research targeting at-risk or vulnerable teens and the landscape for understanding and preventing teen dating violence has become very problematic.

What, then, can schools and states do amid this federal retreat?

McMahon: There are programs, bystander-based teen dating violence prevention programs like Dating Matters and Green Dot, which are designed especially for this age group and focus on the role of friends and networks. Schools can use these curricula to start a conversation.

Fortunately, there are brave school leaders, students and parents and community leaders working to address this crisis. That, to me, is the hopeful note. What we need now is for these leaders to continue to speak out about what they are doing so that other schools can replicate their success. Engaging multiple members of our communities and schools is an important way to help prevent any more tragedies like the one we just saw in Cranford.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abusive behavior, help is available 24/7 through the New Jersey Coalition to End Domestic Violence, 800-572-7233 (Deaf Helpline, 855-812-1001).