Rutgers Love Stories

For Saundra Tomlinson-Clarke and Darren L. Clarke, the trajectory of their thirty-five-year marriage was set not on campus, but at 30,000 feet. In the late eighties, Saundra was already established as a professor in the Rutgers Graduate School of Education (GSE), while Darren was working at another New Jersey institution. After crossing paths at a professional conference in St. Louis, they were assigned seats right next to each other on the flight back home.

That mid-air connection blossomed into a lifelong partnership. Darren joined Rutgers in 1995 as an assistant director of the Education Opportunity Fund for the Livingston Campus. He earned his doctorate from GSE in 2001 and is currently the school’s senior director for strategic alliances and online education. 

Today, with over three decades of shared history at Rutgers, they have become fixtures of the university’s leadership and community. Saundra’s held several leadership roles including New Brunswick Provost and executive vice chancellor for academic affairs. Presently, she is a professor and special advisor to the Rutgers-New Brunswick Chancellor.

Despite their high-level roles, the Clarkes remain deeply rooted in the student experience. Their favorite campus traditions are those that celebrate student achievement such as the Chancellor’s Student Leadership Gala and the Rites of Passage Ceremony. One of their favorite moments at Rutgers was their shared role in a student leadership development program that gave students a chance to visit universities in South Africa.

When the work day ends, they trade academic strategy for the comforts of home, finding work-life balance through cooking and travel. 

The story of Holly and Jamey Lister is one of a strong emotional bond that also led to scientific collaboration. In 2013, the two met in a substance use research lab in Detroit. Holly was finishing her doctoral degree at Wayne State University, while Jamey—a Rutgers alumnus—was completing his post-doctoral fellowship. Despite having "very different but complementary personalities," they were drawn together. 

Jamey always felt a pull back to his alma mater, and in 2019, the couple made the leap from Michigan to New Brunswick. Today, Jamey serves as an associate professor in the School of Social Work, while Holly, a clinical psychologist, is the program manager of the Center for Integrated Care at Rutgers Health University Behavioral Health Care. 

While their professional interests often overlap, they are remarkably intentional about keeping their home life a "work-free zone." But they do love introducing their children to Rutgers and bringing them to events where they get to see where Mom and Dad work.

Whether they are walking the D&R Canal paths—a winter tradition Holly fell in love with during Jamey’s initial job interview—or browsing the Zimmerli Art Museum, the university is an important part of their family. 

Through twelve years together and seven years at Rutgers, their philosophy remains simple: "Find someone who shares your values and grow together." 

Jay and Amy Soled’s story began thirty-six years ago on a summer blind date. At the time, Jay was a law student at Michigan, and Amy was just beginning her journey at Rutgers Law School. Decades later, both have risen through the academic ranks: Jay is a Distinguished Professor at Rutgers Business School and Amy is a Clinical Professor of Law at Rutgers Law School.

Because they often teach night classes, the Soleds have turned Newark into their "date night" destination, frequently meeting for quick pre-class meals. Jay is known for periodically popping into Amy’s office with flowers or food. But not all of Jay’s gestures are traditionally romantic. A few years ago during a Valentine’s Day dinner, Jay went to pull something out of his briefcase. Amy thought it might be a little blue box but instead, Jay presented a 30-page manuscript on taxation and matrimonial law, inviting her to work with him and share a byline. While Amy laughs that it wasn't romantic at first, the couple now shares a published article.

After thirty-six years of marriage, their advice for maintaining a spark while working at the same university is rooted in fresh starts. "Think of every day as a first date," they suggest. "This way, you’re always on your best behavior."

Neela Patel and Phillip Smith first met years ago at a professional development conference. They started off as friends, but eventually decided to give a long-distance relationship a try—a decision that became easier after Smith was offered a closer job in Philadelphia in 2018.

Neela, whose worked at Rutgers for 25 years, serves as the executive director for student centers and activities. Smith, who joined Rutgers three years ago, now works as the associate dean of students and director for Student Basic Needs. 

Their engagement in 2020 was met with the unexpected challenge of a global pandemic. They decided to wait until a safer time to bring their families together to say, "I do." When the time came, they chose the place that felt most like home: the College Ave Student Center. They transformed the multipurpose room into a magical space that blended their cultures.

In their roles at student affairs, Patel and Smith often work on many signature Rutgers events together like Welcome Week, the Bed Races during homecoming and the very popular Hot Dog Day. They are also proud season ticket holders for football and men’s basketball. On game days, you’ll find them decked out in their Rutgers gear in the stands or at a tailgate! 

Whether they are traveling, crafting  cocktails, or cooking at home, they consider themselves proof that it’s never too late to fall in love—and when Cupid’s arrow hits, it’s best to welcome it and enjoy the ride.

Rutgers isn’t just where Tamara Nelson Calhoun and Vaughn Calhoun earned their degrees: it’s where their story started.

The couple met as undergrads in 2002, the summer before their senior year. Vaughn was a football player for the Scarlet Knights. Tamara was participating in a summer undergraduate research experience with the ODASIS office, which was and still is directed by Dr. Kamal Khan. Tamara was living in a suite with a friend of his, who was an student athletic trainer for the team, and Vaughn happened to stop by one day (unannounced) when she wasn’t there. 

Later in the semester, during a get together on Busch campus hosted by Tamara and her roommate, there were no cinematic sparks or dramatic introductions—just a comfortable, genuine conversation that flowed effortlessly into the night. That connection became the foundation of their 24 year journey together.

Their first date was at Old Man Rafferty’s, a New Brunswick landmark. Now they are both an important part of the fabric at Rutgers-Camden. Tamara serves as a tenure track assistant professor of psychology, while Vaughn recently stepped into his role as Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs. Though they work in different spheres, they are united by a singular conviction: that college has the power to transform lives.

The couple revisits their New Brunswick roots about once a year to catch the homecoming football game and indulge in nostalgia. Their visits usually include attending services at Abundant Life in New Brunswick, eating at Delta's and Giovanelli’s, and a walk down George Street. Seeing the university evolve alongside their own lives gives these visits special meaning.

Now settled in South Jersey, they balance their demanding careers by hosting dinner parties and traveling to far-off locales like Barcelona. Their secret to a lasting union? "Laugh. Often," they advise. By respecting each other’s ambitions and showing up with consistency, the Calhouns have turned a college relationship into a legacy of service and love.